Former NBA player Ray Allen, who was renowned for his superb shooting abilities and played for the Boston Celtics and Milwaukee Bucks, once gave a wise saying in an interview that has struck a deep chord with a lot of people. His remarks speak to the innate human propensity to become defensive in response to criticism or unfavorable remarks.
Allen explains that the desire to protect ourselves from insults or attacks on our character is innate to human nature. Like a reflex action, it's a basic instinct. But he says we need to learn to restrain this tendency and choose forgiveness instead. Letting go involves more than just forgiving the person who has wronged us; it also entails acknowledging and embracing our own flaws.
Think of life as a garden in which every seed stands for a different encounter or relationship. It's normal to want to pull out a negative seed that someone has planted with criticism right away, frequently out of defensiveness and rage. Allen, however, urges us to view this process in a different light: rather than responding violently to the negative seed, we ought to gently and forgivingly water it until it runs out of space to grow.
We make room in our lives for constructive development and healing when we forgive others. But without self-forgiveness, genuine forgiveness is lacking. Making mistakes is a natural part of being human, and we must accept that we are not flawless. This insight enables us to accept and gracefully move past our own failings.
The message of Ray Allen encourages handling disagreement and criticism with greater compassion. It forces us to weigh the advantages of forgiveness over the momentary gratification of retaliation. By doing this, we can cultivate more wholesome relationships and achieve inner peace.